CRISIS CORE
by FreedomValentine
Summary: Based on a true story, Shiho borrows Dearka's console to play her favourite Crisis Core- only to delete his data and spark the duel of the night. Shiho-Dearka it is, but the Character 2 slot is open because of some 'implications' with the old man.
1. A Momentary Rest

**CRISIS CORE: LITERALLY**

Shiho

Screw you too, Tonberries. Eurgh.

"Conflict resolved."

Oh, yeah! Finally... now, for one more mission, and I can go make that bimbo her meatcart. Lunchcart. Flowercart. Something.

Oh, no. Wait.

I have... let's see, five here and two and... thanks for literally piling me with missions when I don't really need it, Softsquare.

Oh, that's right, you call yourselves Square Enix now, don't you? No wonder Zack had to be shot to death.

"Shiho, Commander wants his report!"

If anybody ever tells you military is fun and fulfilling and adventurous and dangerous and what not... don't believe them. Nothing can be justified as all of that if paperwork is part of the job scope- NOTHING.

"I'm coming!"

Of all the times in the world.. thanks a lot, Commander.

"You're playing again, Shiho?"

"I'm saving now, Nick, don't rush me."

Yeah, don't rush- fuck.

What have I done..

Okay, I can handle this. I-I've fought before, right? I've killed before, haven't I.. so if I can take down three Earth bitches in one shot, I can do this too... right?

Wrong.

No, I can't. I can't... what am I going to do...

"Are you done yet, Shiho? We have to go now- as in, immediately."

"Nick, I told you, don't-"

Okay, okay. Take your time."

Wait. Nick. Nick... of course.. Nick! Hah! I have been so blind! But now I see!

"Nick! Nick, Nick, Nick..."

"Whoa, slow down! We've still got time, you know-"

"It's not that, I- help me, Nick."

"Huh?"

Dearka'

"Yeah, but at night, it's like a whorehouse!"

Grr...

"Abel, that's more or less the fifth time you've said this."

"But it IS like that, I swear-"

"Abel! Chill! Remember? Come what may, nothing can ever tempt our virtue, Abel, so fear not!"

"Still..."

Somebody shut this one-eyebrowed thing right now.

Shiho

Bitch, don't you click your tongue at me! Say something!

"Sorry, but I can't help you there."

That's it? What am I gonna do... and he probably got that materia already...

"But, you know, you should have just asked me for mine."

Yeah, and then? Give it back because you want Cass to play Patapon? D'oh!

"And don't do that face, Shiho, you look terrible like that."

"I FEEL terrible, Nick. I have to look like that as well, right?"

"Well,,. I'm sorry, man..."

Eurgh... why do I feel so tired? I'm so screwed, even Nick can't help me...

"Oh, hey, Cass! Shiho, you go first. I'll be there in a minute."

"Yeah, fine."

One day, I'm going to hold that boy up at gunpoint against the wall and ask him who is more important- friends who save his ass, or Cass- and then shoot him anyway.

"Yo, Shiho!"

Who- oh, crap...

Dearka

Why does she look so constipated... ah, maybe it's THAT...

Shiho

Mummy...

"Are you reporting to Isaac?"

"What? Oh yeah."

Nick, hurry up, you dumbass.

Dearka

"Ah-we'll just be goin, then... see you at dinner, Dearka!"

Huh? Fast..

"Come on, Nick, move it."

"Wait, what-ow! No need to rush, right-oh... oh, yes.. that's right..."

Right.

kerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokerokero

"Mother, I really don't have any problem with it- I'm very happy for you, Mother, but- hello? Mother?"

The click ended their conversation. It had been the longest, but it was also the one that confirmed with the greatest intensity the fundamental strains of their relationship. He collapsed, his forehead crashing onto the keyboard of his laptop.

Tired- he was just tired, and on the verge of tears.

A knock on the door. "Come in," he sighed, rubbing his face.

He glanced at the entrant as he composed himself. She looked shifty, but he was not in any mood to ask. A message from Dearka on the screen: something's not right with your one today- looked really scared, probably of me, but that's only because she turned white and ran away when I said hi. By the way, I was only trying to be nice, not doing anything funny.

For the next nine and half minutes (I counted), one maintained a monotonous and almost mechanical tone- which meant that he was talking like himself- and the other managed (managed, you hear me, managed. It wasn't mustered, it was managed. Mark the word managed, alright- stop pushing!) a veneer of coolness. At the end of it, all he said was, "Good job. What about next week?"

"Next week?"

"Next week."

It hit her, "Oh, that! Nick's bringing it in. I'll go get him now."

"Wait."

What?

"Ask him later. I can see it tonight as well," he paused, "Shut the door behind you." All was still calm.

She followed the instruction. As she clicked the door shut, his chair shifted and he growled, "Lock it."

_Don't look at me all funny because of the title... what, you thought I had a creative brain? Too bad, I don't. I'm much more inclined towards logic than creativity, though logic is usually equivalent to poor psychiatric health in my case. This was based on a true story. Serious. Don't laugh. Nick and Cass are real people, not fictional, and I think they're awesome. Contrary to what may be inferred, I bear no misgiving nor grudge towards Cass. In fact, I thinks she's a really sweet person. So, Cass, play Patapon all you like, honey._

_Would you like footnotes? I have lots of footnotes. Oh, and I stole a bit of a point from one of Komilia's tales. The one where the mother marries her bodyguard. Forgot what it's called, though... couldn't think of anything else... sorry, darling, hope you don't mind a bit of thievery here and there... oh, but isn't Zack just gorgeous after two years?_


	2. Howl of the Gathered

**CRISIS CORE. LITERALLY.**

Nick

Aaah! Where did that thing go… at least Shiho offered some help- but she should have at least told me where it is. And, to top it all off, this place… is a complete mess. Shame on you, Shiho…

Even my room is better off- aha! Found you at last!

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Coordinators and otherwise, prepare yourselves for the miracle, the wonder, the genius that is me! I present to you… Nick Oh's Ultimate Proposal! But it's such a boring title.. Why didn't father think of a creative gene or two…

"AAAAHHH!"

Was that…

Dearka

Finally, some peace and quiet! And now I shall pamper myself with just one hour of real games and two hours of my darling's pictures. Let's see, now, last time I checked, I was at Level… 23?

No. no… and what is this… Blizzard Blade? And Fira… Hahnenfuss…

Ima kill you.

Shiho

Bitch.

And I thought I was stressed.

_If it had been on a full ship, this would definitely have made one hell of a scene. But most of the crew were outside in the base until the next morning, so it wasn't so bad… or at least she thought so, as she stared at the half-deranged man before, screaming at the arrival of psychological Armageddon. At this rate, one would've thought she was raping him- not that she'd want to touch him. At least not in that way… oh, and if you thought that somebody would come to help, you were wrong, whoever you are. The old boy was still reeling in shock and it would've taken an hour to arrive on the actual scene and by the time he was there, one of them would've died anyway._

_He was still at the door, and could only stare as he pulled out actual strands of his sharp hair and jumped on the metal desk. She didn't feel sorry him, a young man barely half done with this childhood, let alone his youth, and not in the least prepared for the responsibilities that had been forced on him by so many people. if anything, she felt sorry for his scalp, and for the middle-aged Isaac Joule who would be too proud to get it fixed but would cry for this day when he could have saved a few more strands of his poor hair but was foolish, just too foolish, to think of that at all._

_At long last, he was done. A minute remained to six o' clock. Dinner had been postponed to 7.30, chimed in a message on the intercom. _

_Twenty-nine glorious minutes of screaming, shouting and acting like a slut whose head had caught fire had given this man all the calm he needed even though he was considerably lighter on the head and his jacket, pants and boots where stuck under the door. If that was the price of peace, so be it._

_His eyes clear as water, he straightened his posture, retrieved his clothes and dismissed her, "I'm sorry I held you back, Housenka, you may go now."_

_Housenka? That was a first in many days._

Shiho

Bitch. Here I am wondering how terribly I'll die at your friend's ugly hands and there you are looking so proud of yourself as if you just saved all fifty of your cats with some mouldy cabbage soup.

_She remained silent. _

"_Housenka!"_

_She stopped and turned towards him. Did the kid just address her by the old name?_

"_Please… keep this between the two of us. Thank you… that will be all. "_

_Nodding slightly, she walked out. Gritting her teeth to contain the laughter and the tears, she closed the door behind her- only to find herself in the face of her worst nightmare._

Shiho

Oh, my sweet mother of the puffy heavenly clouds…

_**Bleh… this isn't going as well as I intended it to.. is it the pairing Gosh.. uh… give this thing a chance, would you, for Ebichuman's sake?**_


	3. Prelude of Ruin

_He grabbed her at the elbow and turned, his long legs taking them to old simulation room. The doors were locked with a single code, and they were away from the world- completely. Switching the consoles on, he threw what looked like a non-fluorescent light sabre to her._

_Around them, the glass dome built itself upwards, and the streets of Midgar materialised before them. A tinge of anger arouse in her. It was her hard work, her little kingdom, all of this, where it was only her and the innocent Zack Fair on Loveless Avenue. And he had somehow figured it all out._

"_I don't have to give a commentary on what has happened. You know it as well as I. Let's fight, Hahnenfuss. You win, I forgive you. You lose, you die."_

_It was just a game... For the last two hours, she had been shivering before him out of guilt, but now, that last sentence had been a direct challenge. And she was, after all, Housenka. If she was going to have to go down, she'd do it with a bang, not a whimper. She swept her fringe away and customised her material. It was, however, largely limited to a mediocre list, calling for some emergency fusion._

"Are we at our game levels?" she asked quietly.

He nodded, angry for his last efforts. In any case, it was payback time.

There was a thirty-level difference between them, but she knew she had the advantage even though he had maximum stats- and the Buster Blade. No worries…

"Friend," she called out to him, "are you sure about this? This is supposed to be for us and our _friendly_ matches, not an honest duel."

"Yes… friend."

Fine.

_He took the first shot with a Jump._

_She sped from the spot, and brushing her eyes clear again, she ducked behind a pillar. Beside her was the highway to Sector 0. Bugger couldn't have chosen a better place, she muttered as she fished around for the new Poison Twister material. _

_Who's gonna save you now, biatch, she smirked and leaped out at the enemy. A critical hit of 396 and 1040 was registered as Dearka fell face first._

"No!" he yelled as he got to his feet. Shiho raised an eyebrow.

Shiho

Oh, grow up. You don't even give me proper functions and enjoy heavenly DMW yourself. What did you expect me to do, go be a nun and build a pagoda to worship you? I'm not royalty anymore.

Dearka

That woman is strong… what if she's had S-cells transplanted into her body just like Cloud? There can be no other explanation…

"Stop it, Dearka. What do you mean, 'no'?"

Wha-how- oh my god… she can read minds…

Shiho

That's it. Can I slap you now? S-cells are fictional, idiot.

"How did you know what I was thinking?"

Oh, look, he's scared. Seriously…

"Because my father is Asakura Hao- didn't you know? He passed his powers to me."

"Unbelievable…"

Well, obviously. Sarcasm was the obvious intention.

"Wow… Master Hao's daughter… "

_This is what too little sex did to one's brain, then, eh? _

_She sighed. Whoever that girl was that had enchanted him so much last year should have slept with him and saved her all this trouble._

_He stood, dumbfounded, oblivious to the fact that he was up against someone who ridiculously bad as she sometimes was with a suit, was the best in close combat so far. Combat boots glued on the tarmac of the simulated highway, he stared on as she swung her measly broadsword into the air._

"_Friend," she yelled, her voice and face swelling with a mighty determination as she swiped her fingers across the broadsword and leaned on the console, still tangible in a dark corner. _

_The scene changed. There was no more Midgar, only the caverns of the Depths of Justice, where true bravery had been witnessed by fans across the goldilocks area. _

"_Whoever makes it out of this one will be the winner."_

_She discarded her inventory and stood before him, in full sight._

"_Activating Combat Mode," came the voice again, leading in the combat soundtrack. _

Shiho

Damn, that hurts… I'll be lucky if he doesn't use his points again.

Dearka

She's right. No matter what, she is.

Alright, then. Let's roll. Sephiroth! Octoslash… level 5!

Eh… it didn't hit her at all! No… I can't give up…

Shiho

I would really, really appreciate it if you stopped encouraging yourself aloud.

"_Hey, Dearka!" she called out to him, "Check this out."_

_She thrust her sword forward and charged- "Goo Jun Pyo… bitch slap_!"

_**This is getting old..**_


	4. Duty and Friendship

Nick made a mental note to himself- always use a hands-free function when speaking to the love of one's life. His ears were burning. So would the rest of this face, as he recalled the last time when Shiho punched his face in for "reminding [her] that [she] was still on the shelf."

She panted, wiping her wet forehead. The one bad thing about the simulator was that all that perspiration was real after all. All that trouble for a game… his hit points had been annihilated and he was coughing on his knees. The lights of Midgar faded away and in their place emerged the dimmed fluorescence of the ship's lights.

Her only hope now was that he would find somebody to shag and top being a pseudo-otaku. Then again, she should have gone easier on him. Even if they had gotten carried away and he had turned into a… slightly different person, even if he was turning into a sex-deprived idiot who most probably cried at girl-band concerts because the children were just so adorable.

"Friend… " She started, "I'm sorry… I … didn't mean to wipe you out… I just got so carried away… never mind…" she walked out slowly- tired, apologetic… and hungry.

"Shiho! Finally, I found you!"

It was Nick, looking obviously worn out after his little meeting. He had been asked to redo everything- meaning getting her to do it. It was the only work that ever met his standards anyway.

She waved back at him, "Let's go for lunch. I'm famished- oh, but let me get a shower first."

"Okay. And after we finish, could you do me a favour? Commander didn't like what he saw just now, and told me to rewrite it. And you know that he only questions us until you're involved-"

She swung a friendly arm around the boy's shoulder, "And so you want me to write with you so that you don't have to spend a week on it. Is that it?"

"Well, you seem to be the only one who can match his standards anyway, so…"

"Fine, I'll do it. Oh, and lunch is on you. Let's take the next shuttle out of base."

"But you earn so much more than me, why do I have to pay? And you eat at such high-end places when we go out." Nick protested.

Shiho paused to snap back, "I have a family to support, rich boy. You don't. Besides, the white horses pay for us when we eat."

"Okay… but eat less," he quipped, "I'm saving up for a weekend with Cass."

She stared at his blushing face, "Again? Spare some time for me and Dearka too!"

And so the day ended, giving way to the evening in laughter and continuous horizontal tangoes.

_**Yaan! It's over! Credits to Nick for his character and girlfriend. Horizontal tangoes are a kind of cocktail, and white horses are what one calls ministers' kids in the army here.**_


End file.
